This, too

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On standing-up and rolling-over

Lately I have been feeling especially depressed and disenfranchised, certainly as that Live8/G8 stuff ticked along. I certainly did not appreciate Bob insulting folk for causing a ruckus instead of falling in line behind his deeply considered and well reseached position.

All right, some big rockstars (and some has-beens) have visited some of the most deprived parts of Africa and seen the epic scale of suffering there, so that's fair enough, they've (limited) first hand experience injecting them with a sense of urgency to the effect that something must be done.

But that in no way means that they're qualified to dictate -even to know- what exactly should be done. Or how. It certainly doesn't give them the right to tell other people that they're doing it wrong. People have been fighting for progress for a damn sight longer than rockers have been organising unimpressive marches of the ill-informed and donating peanuts to the poor. And that's not to say that these people shouldn't get involved. But if I were prone to melodrama I would talk of hijacking and liken to Bolshevists those of a certain mindset, but, ah... oh. Well...

Of coruse the claim is that Bob's great crusade is going to do make an impact. I don't care for all the talk of the leaders, and what the leaders will do, and whether the leaders will listen, and how what ultimately matters is those eight old white guys (or seven-plus-Koizumi, whatever), and whether the leaders will save those poor Africans. Look, maybe I can be shot or put under house-arrest or tortured abroad or something for saying this, but, you know, fuck the ruddy leaders. There's, like, eight of them. There's six an a half billion people in the world (give or take a few hundred million because apparently China just can't be fucked counting anymore)... I think we can take 'em!

I don't really have a problem with short term aid (not that -as I'm told- Live8 actually intended to provide that, so much as it provided big stars as required to make people turn up and give the arguably false impression that they care), since it might keep a few people from dying over night, but nobody seems to care that its these structures and these leaders that've casually presided over the creation of a need for such emergency aid and of long-term ruin. What pisses me off is when Bob and everyone who is ever allowed on telly is quick to denounce anyone who doesn't subscribe to their line, which, frankly, so far as I can tell is usually very primitive and taking little account of precise conditions or histories. Or of anyone who causes a scene. "That's hurting our case!" If that's hurting our case... no, I can't finish this sentence, I just have to kick you in the crotch for subjecting me to such fuckery.

1) The case, whatever it may be, can not be hurt while the complaint persists: if Bertram murdered Catherine, and the authorities were slow about prosecuting, so Catherine's brother went and pissed all over the front desk of the local constabulary, I don't think that the charges against Bertram would be dropped as a result, so please don't slander better-considered opinions, Richie Rich. 2) This is only a problem because we're being spineless and kowtowing to these divine leader guys again, and it is frighteningly patronising. To whom are we putting a case, and why are we putting it to them instead of doing something?

I object to the ineptitude of people and of society. I was lead to believe that it was just me.
Like, to-day, I was trying to open a carton of orange juice, having one of those screw-on caps attached to a little ring, and I nearly made my fingers bleed and still couldn't do it, and I got that awful old feeling of the skinny kid who can't even muster the strength to open a carton of juice, if you can believe it. But then the carton itself tore apart from the force of the trying-to-open-it-the-correct-way, and somebody said, "oh, that happened to me, the other day" and I realised that it's not just me, you guys are all weeds, too, and those who've positioned themselves at the top of the packaging world are to blame.

I'm not impressed by the whole idea of lobbying the elite, especially in such a vague fashion, and certainly not by being told to shut up and pretend like the world's problems only concern me if I agree with the organisers of some shit awful concert.

I wanted to say, up there in some of those parenthetical bits, that having, "big names" (like Bono, 's a big one) appear in order to get people in made seriously limited sense in a concert that was not trying to raise money. Having big stars means that people come to see big stars, not to learn anything or to make a point. The idea that it would impress upon these leaders any fear of popular opinion holds no water, because they know as well as anyone else that people came to see a concert. Do something, now, or we'll arrange another concert! But we'll have to put on the biggest acts we can find, or nobody will bother turning up, capiche? No, I don't begrudge anyone the right to hold this thing and claim that it's going to raise awareness, maybe, or something, but I really want to shake some people and hold them in a corner until they've understood some pretty basic things and promised not to go all Majority Party on us again.

I have not been terribly well. The heat is making things far worse. And being roped into re-flooring my absent sister's room after a day spent mostly trying to avoid throwing-up probably hasn't sped my recovery. I did drop one of those big fuck-off tape measure thingies on my unprotected toes, though, so that was nice.
Last night I managd to sleep a little, and dreamed of... well, hearing about other people's dreams is generally pointless and boring, so I shan't go on. Suffice to say, I managed to convince Friar Tuck not to kill me.
Yesterday I mostly talked with L. on the subject of terrorism and all that painfully boring shit, and I expressed how unimpressed I am about a number of things in that field, too; and I slouched around playing on the PS2 with the brother, and we laughed heartily at ourselves as neither of us could quite reach to turn on the light as it got slightly darker, despite his chair-tipping efforts and my commandeering of his cricket bat, and at how we both refused to just stand up and take two steps to resolve the issue.

Ah, bloody hell... some little tiny insecty thing has crawled inside the monitor... and seems to have died right in the middle of the display. Decay faster, damn it!

I am still on a bit of A Silver Mount Zion Memorial Orchestra and Tra-la-la Band kick...
I am watching an unidentified but apparently rather old French film with subtitles and failing to keep up for the lyrics repeating over and over in my head.

Why are we all so alone here? All we need is a little more hope, a little more joy. All we need is a little more light, a little less weight, a little more freedom. If we were an army, and if we believed that we were an army, and we believed that everyone was scared like little lost children in their grown-up clothes and poses. So we ended up alone here, floating through long wasted days or great tribulations while everything felt wrong. Good words, strong words, words that could've moved mountains! Words that no one ever said. We were all waiting to hear those words and no one ever said them. And the tactics never hatched and the plans were never mapped and we all learned not to believe. And strange, lonesome monsters loafed through the hills wondering why. And it is best to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever wonder why. So tangle, oh tangle us up in bright red ribbons! Let's have a parade! It's been so long since we've had a parade, so let's have a parade! Let's invite all our friends and all our friends' friends! Let's promenade down the boulevards with terrific pride and light in our eyes, twleve feet tall and staggering, sick with joy, with the angels there and light in our eyes. Brothers and sisters, hope still waits in the wings like a bitter spinster: impatient, lonely, and shivering, waiting to build her glorious fires. It's because of our plans, man, our beautiful ridiculous plans. Let's launch them like careening jet planes! Let's crash all our planes in the river! Let's build strange and radiant machines at this Jericho waiting to fall.
(Built Then Burnt [Hurrah! Hurrah!])

In defence of certain warmongers:
"...there's a difference between lying and being wrong!"
"..They're lying, and you're wrong?
"

5:41 a.m. - 2005-07-15

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