This, too ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Wasted yr life in black and white] More void than news, all is tired. On Sunday (look at me, keeping up with the days like a market trader, news reader, socialite) I went to bed. I was sleepy and my brain was creaky. I wanted to sleep me up some positivity. On Monday I woke at 03:19 (like a paleolithic hunter, corn silo warden, retired person). I realised that sleep doesn't do it like cheap booze, and isn't as easy to get. I was kept awake in the evening prior: some people can talk to others from three rooms away, you know. and won't let closed doors stop them. All Monday I have been tired, and I am trying so hard to have things thought. I keep drifting into step by step descriptions of my day, and on to backspace, because that's not the plan, sidekick, that's just not the plan. I tried to talk with I'm going to have a shower, and I'm going to read a book. If I have a shower, my hair won't feel so crappy. If I read a book, I'll stimulate the firing of a few extra neurons; and let's face it, I can't afford to pay them all. I did those things. Now I'm sipping tea and listening to Everything Must Go for feck-knows-why. I remembered being very young and visiting relatives... and being terribly excited by their black and white television, which, of course, was just a broken colour television. I felt let down. What an odd way to have felt, heh. I was probably more excited about black and white television than my parents had been about colour. I will remember what I was thinking. Must learn to type more quickly. On Tuesday I lived a forgotten day and went early to bed, sleeping through until morning. Wednesday was wasted on tiredness, this sleeping game is not good for me. I've ordered booksies and musics, cheap cheap. So this is the weekend, eh? I have India pale ale. I quite enjoyed getting it, the walk was nice. Fecking freezing, but nice. I don't want the trees to get back their nasty green dangly bits. 10:41 p.m. - 2005-02-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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